Growing up in Trinidad my backyard, like many, had a ravine behind it. My brothers and sister would jump from one side, our backyard, to the other side, an abandoned plot, for exploring adventures. I was tall enough and definitely had the strength to secure my landing. But I’d always hesitate. I would be the last one to jump. Everytime. The additional pressure of being left behind in a tiny jungle would push me to take the leap. I’d land safely. Everytime.
This week I took a similar leap. I’ve been tip toeing around leaving a job that had several major push factors. However, there was always something; I don’t have time off to interview or I’m too drained at the end of the day to do applications. Really it was fear that chained me by the leg.
My predecessors lasted much shorter than my 11 months but I’d hoped things would improve. Before I started a woman was hired . She started 2 weeks before me and was out by my 3rd week. She literally had a mental breakdown one day and I never saw her again. The workload weighed heavy and she snatched her purse and ran off. We spoke briefly on a few occasions before her swift departure. She wasn’t happy. She felt disrespected and undervalued by show of her wage and the condescending talks she’d get. She shared how this job matched up to her decades-old experience of similar work.
I was about to graduate college when I started working there part time and didn’t think I’d be there very long. Most of what was said to me was irrelevant to me, or so I thought. I was getting paid a cool $14/hr and thought I was being compensated fairly.
Circumstances in my life started to change and I needed more money quickly. This coincided with the great escape of my closest coworker. I took on more hours but my boss kept me just below full time so she wouldn’t have to provide benefits. She also gave me a raise. I was excited. So I took on more responsibility in addition to what I was initially hired to do. Months passed and I snowballed, picking up more and more responsibilities. I was getting worn out but needed every cent I could garner.
My relationships with my coworkers were always rocky because of fundamental disagreements and differences. This was exasperated by the income and racial divide in place. It was an all female office but labor was assigned, seemingly, based on race. I was hoping to influence everyone and build a united labor perspective to gain fair pay and treatment. That obviously didn’t work out. I came to the conclusion that while I could sympathize with the pressure my absence would create I had to leave.
I’ll write later post on the problems I faced there because it deserves specific attention. Today, however, I’m celebrating my freedom. The opening of a new door.
Moreover, I’ve been dreaming of taking my own path. I’m not a big preacher of following dreams and all that. I’m a bit of a critic of people that gain wealth and celebrity and give great speeches on self-determination. When it really comes down to luck and privilege most times. Anyway, I’m taking my own non-advice and taking a moment to do what I absolutely love.
There are few things in this world that gives me unabashed pride. One of them is my creative mind’s ability to consistently come up with fresh ideas. Another is my natural craving to write. Yet another is my loving relationship with Public Relations. This triple power has emboldened me to take this great leap of faith and trust in the Universe.
Look out for written pieces, photos, graphic designs, drawings and every other media I can use. I hope to share intrigue, conflict and joy with you in my own voice. I will always be honest and write what I think. I’m ready to work to fulfill my ideas while remaining responsible with what I create.
The feeling of a freedom like this, regardless of how short lived, is priceless. Today I am on my own to create something I’ve imagined for over a year.
The journey has jus begun.